I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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