Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Randomize
