Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
