is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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