u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
