legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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