Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
