we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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