i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
