Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
