At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
