Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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