I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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