Hey man sorry I got all grabby
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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