I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
