Michael Bay diarrhea
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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