what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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