I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
