Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
