I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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