Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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