I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
