at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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