So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
