As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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