i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
