she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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