Where did you get a picture of my penis
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
