worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Randomize
