I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
