I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
just tell him i said nine months
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
