Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
