i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
