I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize