how can u be prego again
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
