how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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