The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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