new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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