Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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