is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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