So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
is that a dick in a sweater?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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