ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
