If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I bet he comes in French.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
