so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
you guys were way drunker than both of me
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
