It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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