did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
