Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
