somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
