Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
