We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
