You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
