what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
