Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
