A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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