If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Randomize
