He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
